Love Doesn't Need Words

HeatherWithrow

12/11/2015 6:15 AM

I wanted to share this insightful and rich post a friend, Shannon McLennan, wrote on Facebook. Her daughter, Oliana, has severe bilateral microphthalmia (what my son Orion has, too) and autism. I loved that she talks about feeling her daughter's love in a different way, without words. Below are her pearls...

"So I'm reading this amazing book called Bloom. It's about "finding beauty in the unexpected". A mother who gives birth to a baby girl with Down Syndrome. I am immediately transported back 5 1/2 years to my own delivery room looking into the face of my own baby girl and knowing that something was wrong. Finding out that she was blind. What I would give to let that terrified Shannon 5 years ago, in on a little secret. It would all be ok. To whisper in her ear, "You will eventually become a better mother and person because of this. It doesn't matter that she will not say 'I love you mommy' or look you in the eye with complete adoration. Because you will feel her love when she wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you in close. You will see the love on her face when you give her tickles and kisses and snuggle her close. You will learn a completely different way love can be expressed and it is beautiful and it is perfect.”

Oli cannot hide her feelings or pretend to feel something that she doesn't. So when she has strong feelings they are written all over her face and in her body language. I know exactly what she is feeling without her ever saying a word. It is a perfect little dance that we have develped over the past 5 1/2 years. She may never be able to tell me that she loves me in words but I will never doubt the love that she has for me. She shows me every single day. I was so afraid after she was born because I didn't know how I would know how she felt if I couldn't see her eyes. Now I know that is completely ridiculous. That the eyes are NOT in fact, the windows to the soul. They are merely easy window shopping for people not all that interested in actually going into the store and seeing what they really have to offer."

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This is a testament to why it's so important for family members to be an integral part of the team that assesses communication in a child with complex communication needs. What parents know is vast compared with what may be glimpsed at school! We encourage BOTH family members AND professionals to assess the child's communication skills, precisely because they have different "takes" on those skills. Both views are equally valid. Differences between them are a rich source of discussion about how to advance the child's communication skills.

Communication Matrix Team - 12/14/2015

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This is beautiful and inspiring. A great message to start the day. I will hold this with me today, when I am with my daughter and in the days to come with my students. I love when moments hit me out of the blue with my students when I feel their love and security with me and I know that they know I love them. *early morning not yet caffeinated chatter :) I hope it makes sense :). Either way, it does to me :)

APW - 12/12/2015