Your Flyswatter vs. The Good Fairy

HeatherWithrow

12/14/2015 9:42 PM

What is that? This is an image of a Good Fairy put right in its place, under a flyswatter. Let's talk about why we can’t have them fluttering around. (Artwork of the flattened fairies are at the bottom of this post, illustrated by myself.)

Have you ever had anything appear in front of you from out of nowhere? (Knowing this isn’t physically impossible, I’d be freaking out, too.)

Did you ever have anything all done for you when you could've done it yourself? (Cleaning services are welcome anytime, though!)

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Moving furniture in the middle of the night”? In reference to the unexpected new layout for those who went to bed before it happened.Have you ever frantically searched for that sneaky tape dispenser or elusive pair of scissors while wrapping holiday gifts? (Good Elves?)Good chances it wasn’t due to a winged entity. For all of the above, doing things in front of or behind the scenes for a DeafBlind person without any degree of his involvement or awareness is what I’d describe as the "Good Fairy Syndrome". Also known as “Magic Fairy”. Orion being an exclusively tactile learner is easily targeted by this fairy. This darned fairy gets in the way of concept development and makes us totally miss the delicious opportunities for expanding on an activity or object.

Too-Helpful Fairy Examples:

We attempted to swat the fairy by having Orion, while held, feel us get the milk jug out of the cold refrigerator, popping off the cap and pouring the cold liquid into his bottle. (This is messy LEARNING!)

Laying in the tub during bath time, something pleasant smelling yet cold quickly appears on Orion's chest. *Slapping, swatting furiously* We introduce the shampoo bottle to his hand and chest, invite him to feel the cap opening and the shampoo flows onto his chest.

In the high chair, Orion let go of the bottle into empty space. Orion finds it in front of him again. The fork magically returns to place and the plate as well! *Stomp. Stomp! Checking out the goo on the sole of my shoe.* The bottle is on its side on the table, the fork lay in his lap. Orion knows this because he had to look for them when he wanted them and there they were, in the exact same place where he let go of them! (OK, sometimes they roll or slide off the table.)

Things to play with appear in his hands or on his chest whether he likes it or not. *Swooooooosh-splat!* Baskets or items are left in their designated spaces around the room, Orion is guided over to them. Even better is when Orion independently scoots over on his back to find them.

Orion finds himself on a wood platform swing… where? *Brief, loud hissing from a can* Orion recognizes the landmarks at the entrance to his room, walks with assistance over to the swing in the center, smiles, drops down and gets right to playing.

Tips to consider:

• If your child or student can do it themselves or with assistance, let them take the time they need to do so.
• If you need to move an item to a new location or to a “finish” box (indicating an activity is done), do it WITH your child, not FOR.
• If the child drops something, help him stoop or bend down and if needed, guide his hand with the hand-under-hand technique to the object.
• If your child is not following your hand and the item is small enough, for example, a box of moist wipes that you want to move to the other side of him, you can lift the box "clumsily", touch it on his left hand, lightly drag it over his chest to the other side where you touch the child's right hand and set the wipes down. The child will know you've moved the wipes, favorite toy, bottle, etc.
• While you are doing things with your child, you can label the activities or things with words at the appropriate communication level, even share movements with him that have meaning. (Splashing, hammering, chewing, etc.)

I’m not a perfect fairy swatter. I’ve face-palmed myself when I've realized I missed the opportunities, too. I’ve even stopped my hands inches away from my boy, realizing what I was just about to do. As family members and IEP team members, we need to support one another positively to maximize all the interactions we do with our children when they’re attentive and ready to learn. Observe, invite feedback, look for those expansion opportunities and to give the Good Fairy a swift and definite final swat with your friendly flyswatter.

“Do With, Not For” and please do use the flyswatter!

Educator,Occupational Therapist,Parent/Family Member,Physical Therapist,Speech-Language Pathologist,Intervention Strategies,Good Fairy Syndrome

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